What If the Church Was Filled with Women Like This?
By Cathie Ostapchuk
Last week in Gather Circles, we read a passage that seemed to quiet the whole room:
A leader who has not done the work of owning her story will always be managed by it. She will make decisions from the wound instead of the wisdom. She will lead from the false narrative instead of the true one. She will give away her authority to old voices that lost their right to speak over her a long time ago.
But the leader who has done this work - who has named the false narratives, traced them to their origin, and chosen the Author’s story instead - she leads differently. She leads from a place of groundedness that other people can feel. She is not easily destabilized. She is not threatened by other people’s strength. She is not managing her own hidden narrative while trying to lead a room. She knows who she is. She knows whose she is. She knows the Author. And that changes everything about how she leads.
We sat with three questions: What do you admire about this woman? Do you know anyone who is becoming this woman? Could you become her?
The conversation that followed reminded me why tables and circles matter so much. Every one of us is living from a story, and many of those stories were written by disappointment, criticism, exclusion, family expectations or experiences that caused us to question our worth. We may no longer consciously believe those old messages, yet they can still shape the way we lead. They surface in our need to prove ourselves, our reluctance to trust, our fear of conflict or our inability to celebrate another woman’s strength without wondering what it means about our own.
Knowing the Author of your story
may be one of the most countercultural sources of confidence available to a woman today.
When you know who you are and whose you are,
you do not need every room to validate you.
You can receive feedback without being dismantled by it,
lead with both courage and humility,
and recognize that another person’s gifts do not diminish your own.
You begin to lead from wisdom rather than from the wound,
because old voices no longer have the final word.
This kind of transformation rarely happens through information alone. It happens in community, often around a table or within a circle where someone listens carefully, another woman finds the courage to tell the truth, and together we bear witness to what God is doing in each other’s lives. Scripture begins to expose the false narratives we have carried, and trusted companions help us remember the truer story when we are tempted to forget.
That is why Gather keeps setting tables.
Imagine what our churches, workplaces, families and communities could become if they were filled with women wh know who they are, whose they are and Who is writing their story. Deeply formed women help form others. Their wholeness becomes permission, their courage creates courage, and their grounded presence changes the rooms they enter.
We believe a more beautiful Church is possible, and perhaps it begins one table, one circle and one deeply formed woman at a time.
Gather Circles are peer-led spaces where women gather around Scripture, prayer and honest conversation. They are not therapy, and no one arrives as the expert with all the answers. They are places to be known, to learn biblical practices for living well and leading whole, and to discover that we were never meant to be formed alone. Sign up for more information on the September launch.
The Studio - Where Female Leaders are Formed - offers a deeper nine-month journey with thoughtful curriculum, experienced coaches and a community of women who want their leadership to flow from a deeply rooted life. The cohort is almost full, with only a few spaces remaining, and if you are interested we need to hear from you soon. One former participant described The Studio as “a place where I was finally able to bring my whole self, not simply the capable version of me.” Another said, “I came looking for leadership development and discovered that God wanted to form the woman beneath the leader.”