The Strongest Women We Know Are Carrying the Heaviest Burdens
By Cathie Ostapchuk
Last week we launched our first Gather Summer Circles.
As women from across Canada joined the Zoom call, I felt that familiar mixture of anticipation and curiosity. Many had never met one another. They came from different provinces, different churches, different seasons of life. Some lead ministries. Others lead businesses, teams, families, or communities. They were thoughtful, accomplished, generous women - the kind of women most people would describe as "doing well."
And they are.
But within minutes, something else began to emerge.
One woman shared the grief she has quietly been carrying. Another spoke about navigating uncertainty she never expected at this stage of life. Someone else described the weight of caring for aging parents while trying to faithfully serve in ministry. Another admitted she wasn't sure where she had gone in the midst of caring for everyone else.
As I listened, my heart broke.
Not because these women were struggling.
Because they had been struggling alone.
I found myself wondering, how is it possible that some of the strongest women I know are carrying the heaviest burdens?
And then another question came just as quickly.
Why do we keep carrying them by ourselves?
I don't think it's because we lack faith.
I think somewhere along the way we confused strength with silence.
We learned that capable women don't need help. That leaders should have the answers. That if we're honest about our exhaustion or our questions, someone might wonder whether we were ever called in the first place.
So we become very good at carrying.
We carry marriages.
We carry ministries.
We carry businesses.
We carry churches.
We carry children and grandchildren.
We carry aging parents.
We carry friendships that need tending.
We carry invisible grief.
We carry disappointment.
We carry hopes that haven't yet come to pass.
And then we quietly wonder why we feel so tired.
The Apostle Paul paints a completely different picture of the Christian life.
"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2)
He doesn't tell us to become better burden-carriers.
He assumes we were never meant to carry them alone.
One of the greatest lies facing Christian women today is that our competency somehow disqualifies us from our humanity.
It doesn't.
We are image-bearers before we are leaders.
We are daughters before we are directors.
We are beloved before we are productive.
We are both glorious and fragile.
We have dignity, incredible capacity, and God-given limits.
There are thresholds beyond which our souls begin to fracture,
and no amount of determination can change that.
Over the past ten years at Gather, we've become convinced that the Church doesn't simply need more women leading.
It needs women who are becoming whole.
That is why we created Gather Circles small, peer-led communities where women can bring their whole selves, open Scripture together, pray honestly, and discover they are not the only one carrying what they carry.
And it's why The Studio exists.
Not to help women become more impressive leaders, but to help them become deeply formed women whose leadership flows from wholeness instead of exhaustion.
Applications for the September Studio cohort have been extended until July 31, and only a few spaces remain. If you've been waiting for "the right time," perhaps this is your invitation. Not because you need one more thing on your calendar, but because you deserve a place where your soul is cared for as intentionally as your leadership.
I believe the Church in Canada could become a far more beautiful place.
I believe our nation could become a more hopeful place.
But it needs women who are not merely surviving.
Women who are deeply rooted.
Women who are fully alive.
Women who have learned that asking for help isn't weakness—it may be one of the bravest acts of leadership there is.
If that's you...
We're saving you a seat.