Responding to Hurt with Courage and Grace
By Bianca Schaefer
Have you ever caught yourself replaying words that hurt or offended you? Maybe you let it slide in the moment or responded politely, but days later, it still lingers. You might wonder, Am I too sensitive? Did they mean it? Or did I misunderstand?
I wrestle with this too—especially when the person’s opinion matters. There’s a natural desire to be seen, heard, and valued. So when your ideas or advice are dismissed, how do you respond with grace?
In leadership, rejection is inevitable. Ministry leaders often face opposition or slow progress. Entrepreneurs meet setbacks before their ventures succeed. Emerging leaders pitch ideas that don’t immediately gain support. The confident leader you admire is often the one who has quietly carried hurt and rejection but keeps moving forward.
The Bible acknowledges this reality. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Jesus Himself experienced rejection and pain, yet He remained focused on His mission. When hurt comes, we are invited to lean into God’s nearness and strength.
Being hurt doesn’t disqualify us from leading—it makes us human. What matters most is how we respond. Resilient leaders hold onto God’s sustaining grace and press forward, even when the journey is hard.
Here are some ways I’ve learned to handle lingering pain as a leader:
Discern what to keep and what to release. Not every painful word needs to take up residence in your heart. Some feelings are valid and worth processing; others, we need to surrender for the sake of peace. God’s Word encourages us to focus on “whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.” Philippians 4:8. Choosing where to focus is key to mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.
Choose forgiveness—for others and yourself. Bitterness drains your energy and clouds judgment. Ephesians 4:31-32 urges us to “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… and be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiveness frees your heart and allows you to lead with peace and clarity.
Lean on God’s strength daily. Leadership can wear you down, especially when emotional wounds weigh heavy. Isaiah 40:31 promises, “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Prayer, worship, and Scripture renew your soul and prepare you to face challenges courageously.
Every leader will face hurt, yet our response shapes the story we leave behind. Leaning on God turns even our deepest pain into stepping stones toward strength, lasting impact, and leading well.
