When “No” Can Be the Gift That Brings a “Yes”
By Bianca Schaefer
I recently received one of the best no’s of my life.
Not the kind that crushes you. Not the kind you struggle to make peace with years later. No, this was different. This no was kind, direct, and so full of wisdom that it left me inspired instead of disappointed.
I had asked someone I deeply admired for something I hoped they’d say yes to. Instead of sending a quick email or simply ignoring the ask, she took the time to schedule a FaceTime call. She looked me in the eye and explained her no with such thoughtfulness and clarity that I couldn’t help but respect it. She didn’t owe me an explanation, but she offered one anyway—one that shifted something in me.
In that moment, I saw it clearly: her no wasn’t a rejection of me—it was a redirection toward something greater. Her honest, gracious no fueled courage and boldness. It sparked a new confidence in me to step forward, trusting God to open the right doors and bring the right yes—and He did, more quickly than I expected.
Without that no, I might have stayed in my comfort zone. Instead, I took risks I wouldn’t have taken, reached out to people I would’ve been too intimidated to contact, and watched God open doors I never could have imagined.
If you’re in leadership, you’ve likely already learned that no is part of the journey. Sometimes you hear it. Sometimes you have to say it. Either way, it’s never easy. But it can be holy.
In Acts 16, Paul had a plan to preach in Asia—but “the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to” (Acts 16:7). It was a divine no. And because of it, Paul went to Macedonia instead, where the gospel took root in new and unexpected places. That no wasn’t a dead end. It was a divine reroute.
God’s no is never careless. It’s always wrapped in purpose. And the same is true when we say no to others. As leaders, we must learn how to give no with courage and compassion, and how to receive it with trust and resilience. Both require character. Both require a deep confidence in God’s goodness and sovereignty.
That’s why we need trusted women around us—leaders who model integrity, wisdom, and Spirit-led decision-making. We grow when we learn from women who live and lead well, and sometimes that growth starts with a no that redirects us toward God’s better yes.
You’ll find those kinds of women in The Studio—a nine-month leadership cohort where leaders are formed, character is deepened, and boldness is cultivated. If you’ve been waiting for clarity, encouragement, or permission to say yes to the next step in your leadership, this might be it. Let that no be the unexpected gift that brings a yes—leading you into deeper transformation and spiritual growth as you follow where God is leading.
