February and the Ministry Beneath the Ministry
By Cathie Ostapchuk
February has a particular way of testing us. Call it the winter blues or the winter blahs.
In Canada, it’s the month where winter stops being novel and starts being demanding. The light is thinner. The calendar feels long. The enthusiasm we may have carried into January quietly drains away, while responsibilities remain exactly where they were — waiting.
Over the years, I’ve learned that February often reveals what’s been quietly accumulating beneath the surface. Fatigue we didn’t name in the fall. Decisions we postponed through Advent and January. The slow toll of leading, caring, showing up — often without enough margin.
I remember one February in particular. Nothing dramatic had gone wrong. The work was meaningful. The people were good. And yet I felt inexplicably heavy. I kept telling myself to push through — to be grateful, to stay focused, to stay strong. But what I really needed wasn’t a better strategy. It was permission to stop pretending I was fine.
What helped wasn’t fixing my circumstances. It was tending the ministry beneath the ministry — the care that makes faithfulness possible when energy is low and the path forward isn’t clear.
I began asking different questions:
What is actually heavy right now?
What am I carrying that doesn’t belong to me?
What would it look like to stay whole instead of impressive?
For me, being held that February looked very ordinary. Cancelling one commitment without explaining myself. Letting a trusted friend know I was tired instead of capable. Taking one evening off and not filling it with “productive” rest. Small choices — but they mattered.
February blues aren’t a sign that something is wrong with you. Often, they’re a signal that something honest is asking for attention.
This is why, during our BEHOLD year, we’re focusing on BEING HELD in February. Not as a theme to admire, but as a posture to practice.
Women don’t burn out from lack of vision.
They burn out from carrying too much alone for too long.
You don’t have to fix February.
You don’t have to power through it.
You’re allowed to be held — and to help hold others, too.
A Simple February Prayer
God of quiet faithfulness,
meet us where energy is low and courage feels thin.
Help us tell the truth about what we carry,
and receive the care you offer through others.
Teach us to stay whole in this season,
and to trust that light is still returning.
Amen.
A Question to Sit With
Where do you feel the weight most right now — and what would it look like to let yourself be held there?
For many women, being held has come through spaces like Gather — places where leadership is met with care, where truth is welcomed, and where formation is valued as much as function. If this work has supported you, steadied you, or helped you stay whole in a demanding season, we want to be clear about something:
We cannot continue without shared support.
Gather exists because women choose to come alongside one another — not only through presence and prayer, but through practical generosity. We’re inviting those who believe in this work to become monthly donors at $50. Your faithful giving sustains the conversations, practices, and spaces that allow women across Canada to lead without carrying everything alone.
If Gather has been part of what has held you, this is one way to help hold others.