RelateHER: Comparison Kills

Written By: Brenda Drost


Comparison kills.  Comparison is a stealth thief and a ruthless killer. It sneaks up on us at the most unsuspecting times and robs us of our personal peace, our daily joy, and sometimes even our hopes and dreams.

We’ve all been there... we lay our head on the pillow at night and scroll through Instagram to see what our friends were up to today, and then boom. There it is. The perfect body, the beautiful selfie, the job promotion, the luxurious vacation, the engagement announcement... that thing you wish was yours. In an instant, an otherwise peaceful day ends with the bitter pangs of comparison.

Comparison brings along with it the shame and disappointment of a life we long for but will never live. It whispers to us that we are not enough, that there is something wrong or broken about us that will never be made right. It keeps us in a place of wounded defeat, and pounces every time we attempt to stretch ourselves and experience something beyond our comfort zone.

Even worse, comparison threatens to keep us from living out our hopes and dreams by convincing us that we don’t have what it takes to achieve it. But if God has put a dream in your heart, it’s for a specific purpose that he wants to fulfill in your life. If God has given you a dream it’s because you have everything it will take to achieve it and more. If God has given you a dream it’s because he is willing to equip and empower you to carry it through to completion.

All too often we allow the voice of comparison to rob us of new opportunities, promotions or connections that would move us towards our dreams because we are trapped by the negative narrative of fear, doubt and insecurity.

Comparison also longs to keep us isolated and incapable of working together effectively with other women. We need to dig down deep and expose the lies of comparison in our lives in order to move past the rhetoric in our own heads and move into the plans and purposes of God.

When it comes to chasing our God-sized dreams, there are three very specific ways that comparison can quickly get us off track.

Natural talent and ability. We look at other women who are more naturally gifted or talented than we are and we instinctively shy away from the opportunity to shine because we believe we are not as good as someone else. There will always be someone who is better at your craft but God isn’t interested in pure talent alone, but in those who are humble enough to learn and grow.

Resources. Sometimes we look at the resources others have and believe that because we don’t have the same amount of money, time or connections that we won’t be able to accomplish similar goals. We forget that our God has unlimited resources and he is capable of bringing the right things at the right time in order to encourage you and help you to walk step by step into your dream. But often we won’t see everything we need before we start, because the journey requires faith.

Experience. Life teaches us some of the greatest lessons and equips us to walk in the purposes God has called us to individually. We can never compare our journey to someone else’s when attempting to live out our God dreams. Your past does not need to limit your future.

Each one of us is unique in how we are wired to serve God and the very things that make you unique are of the greatest value to God. He can use you just as you are and right where you are to reach people who need to hear your story. You don’t need to be more or do more, you need only be open and willing to every opportunity that comes your way in humility and faith.

Galatians 5:26 MSG:

We will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.